Skip to main content

Dan's Review: "Norm of the North" is a new kind of awful

Jan 15, 2016 11:17AM, Published by Dan Metcalf, Categories: Arts+Entertainment Movie Reviews


Norm of the North - © 2015 – Lionsgate



Norm of the North (Lionsgate)

Rated PG for mild rude humor and action.

Starring (voices of) Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Ken Jeong, Colm Meaney, Loretta Devine, Maya Kay, Gabriel Iglesias, Michael McElhatton, Bill Nighy, Salome Jens.

Written by Daniel R. Altiere, Steven M. Altiere and Malcolm T. Goldman.

Directed by Trevor Wall.

GRADE: D-

REVIEW:

One of the “joys” (I’m using sarcasm quotes) of being the parent of girls (I have three of them) is dealing with the toy/video marketing schemes that permeate their culture. For instance, the folks at Mattel were genius enough to know that if you make Barbie into a computer-generated cartoon, you could sell more dolls by churning out countless feature-length “Barbie” movies directly to video. These “movies” (again, sarcasm) contain low-quality scripts, bland music, and low-quality animation. What does this have to do with Norm of the North, out in theaters this weekend?  I will explain later.

Norm (voiced by Rob Schneider, who has finally proven that he can find work without the help of Adam Sandler) is an arctic polar bear who can’t hunt, but for some reason can speak human English. When an evil developer named Mr. Greene (Ken Jeong) decides to put condos in the arctic, Norm decides to go to New York and to use his gift of communicating with humans to convince them that arctic land development will ruin his home. When he gets to the Big Apple, Norm discovers that his grandfather (Colm Meaney) who was thought lost, is imprisoned there by Greene, having tried to stop the development before. With the help of a few lemmings, Norm convinces Greene’s marketing director Vera (Heather Graham) and her daughter Olympia (Maya Kay) that the condos are a bad idea. Norm and his grandfather must stop a shipment of condos from arriving in the arctic to kill Greene’s evil business deal.

Now, back to Barbie.

Norm of the North is a new kind of terrible. It’s so bad that the only chuckle-worthy moments (for kids) involve farting and peeing. One joke about homosexuality was bad enough to sense a collective groan among all adults in the screening. 

The script and story seem to have been written on a napkin during a lunch break, lacking clarity, humor or structure – while swinging and missing at global warming.

The animation is lazy enough to rival most Barbie movies, making most of them seem like Citizen Kane in comparison.

Norm of the North was indeed planned as a direct-to-video release. It should have stayed that way, or perhaps never left the lunch napkin.



Norm of the North Trailer



movies movie reviews Animation


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Music for a Festival

    03/28/2017
    07:30AM

    The Salt Lake Symphonic Winds join the Herriman High School Wind Symphony as honored guests in a ...


  • WJHS Football Fundraiser Top Golf

    03/28/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Fundraiser to raise money for West Jordan Football Team. Come out and show your support for our ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/29/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


It looks like we don't have any events for this date. You can always add an event.

  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/31/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Music for a Festival

    03/28/2017
    07:30AM

    The Salt Lake Symphonic Winds join the Herriman High School Wind Symphony as honored guests in a ...


  • WJHS Football Fundraiser Top Golf

    03/28/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Fundraiser to raise money for West Jordan Football Team. Come out and show your support for our ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/29/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/31/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • The best little shop for creative supplies is here! Join the nonprofit Clever Octopus Creative Re...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    04/02/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/03/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • West Jordan Dance Company Concert

    04/03/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    The West Jordan's Dance Company is happy to present their spring concert, "From Past to Present" ...


  • West Jordan Dance Company Concert

    04/04/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    The West Jordan's Dance Company is happy to present their spring concert, "From Past to Present" ...


  • Overcoming Fear Workshop

    04/04/2017
    06:30PM — 08:30PM

    When you think about who you want to become, do you feel overwhelmed and a little hopeless? Do yo...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/05/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • West Jordan Dance Company Concert

    04/05/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    The West Jordan's Dance Company is happy to present their spring concert, "From Past to Present" ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/07/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Live Your Dream Fashion Show

    04/08/2017
    11:30AM — 02:00PM

    The Salt Lake Soroptimist Club will host its annual Live Your Dream Fundraiser on Saturday, April...


  • April in Paris

    04/08/2017
    05:00PM — 06:30PM

    The American West Chamber Singers is excited to present their Spring Concert entitled April in Pa...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    04/09/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/10/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Relationship Workshop

    04/11/2017
    06:30PM — 08:30PM

    How easy is it for you to be happy if your important relationships are tense or brittle? If I had...


  • Seasonal Superfoods

    04/11/2017
    06:30PM — 08:30PM

    Your body is a tool to make you happy—to feel joy, passion, and creativity. It functions on the f...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/12/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/14/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    04/16/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


 

 

Online Edition
Follow My City Journals on Facebook
Advertise with us

 

City Journals 9500 South 500 West, Suite 205, Sandy, Utah 84070 801.254.5974