Skip to main content

Rockin’ Around the Real Christmas Tree

Dec 19, 2014 01:47PM ● Published by Peri Kinder

Now that we’re empty nesters, my husband has tentatively suggested that we destroy Christmas. We’ll be cuddling in front of the TV when he whispers, “Do you think it’s time we invested in a fake tree?”

“No.”

“But a real tree stresses you out each year.”

“That’s not stress, it’s the Christmas spirit,” I reply.

“I didn’t know the Christmas spirit was so grouchy.”

A real Christmas tree has always been the center of my holiday decorating. Growing up, we’d hang stockings, put out Advent calendars and display nativity scenes, but the season didn’t officially start until the tree was plunked into a bucket of boiling Mountain Dew. (We had the only caffeine-addicted tree on the street.)

After dad strung the lights and went to hide in his bedroom, we’d attack the tree like a whirling tornado, fighting over who got to hang favorite ornaments. Once we were in bed, mom and dad would redecorate and hang tinsel, one silvery strand at a time, on every branch.

I’ve carried on that tradition (minus the tinsel that would cling to our clothes) to create our own perfect Christmas tree.

Our holiday tree has never been a symbol of opulence. We’ve never had a Winter Wonderland tree with white fluffy reindeer frolicking through snowy silk ribbons, dangling with sparkly Swarovski crystals and silver-sequined snowflakes.

Instead, our tree’s branches are weighed down by homemade angels with ratted-out hair and lopsided halos, clothespin reindeers tangled around hand beaded wreaths, and South Park characters rubbing shoulders with the baby Jesus.

Decades of school photo ornaments hang amid the evergreen boughs, detailing years of missing teeth, questionable hairstyles and teenage angst. And loved ones who have passed away are remembered with ornaments ranging from dancing shoes to teardrop prisms.

Put together, it’s an explosion of bad taste that would make Martha Stewart cry. But it’s not just a Christmas tree—it’s a family tree representing years of holiday memories.

The finished product is only half of the story. Finding the perfect Christmas tree is a tradition/catastrophe I anticipate/loathe every December. Hence my husband’s misguided “fake tree” suggestion. He just doesn’t understand that a plastic tree is a soulless imitation of holiday beauty, and the first step to anarchy.

Each year, I schedule a day to pick out a tree, and, without fail, it’s the coldest, snowiest, iciest weekend of the month. My youngest daughter tags along to make sure I get it right and to help hold the tree on top of the car once the loosely-tied knots start to unravel—much like my mind.

We scour tree lots, looking for an evergreen that is devoid of bare spots, more alive than dead and not full of spiders. (Don’t ask. It’s a horrible holiday memory.) We also try to avoid tree lots managed by the town drunk. (That’s another Christmas/horror saga involving a leering, inebriated tree salesperson with a chain saw.)

Once the tree arrives safely home, we discover the 10-foot tree won’t fit into our 8-foot living room. We attack it with dull handsaws and scissors until it fits, and then, in a flurry of Christmas chaos, we adorn it with lights and ornaments, and top it with a rickety angel, balanced precariously on the highest branch.

When the dust settles, we’ll cuddle by the decorated tree, watching Christmas lights twinkle while the snow softly falls. It’s the epitome of holiday perfection. Until my husband whispers, “What do you think about having Christmas dinner at Village Inn?”

Could be a long, cold winter in our home. 
Food+Dining
  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/24/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/24/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/25/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/25/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/25/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/27/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/27/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/28/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/28/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • R.C.I.A.

    09/28/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Instruction Classes

    09/28/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/29/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/29/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/29/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • HCS Fall Festival

    09/29/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00AM

    Hilltop Christian School's annual Fall Festival is a great time for the whole family. Pony rides,...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/30/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Community Square Dance

    09/30/2017
    07:00PM — 08:30PM

    Join us for a Community Square Dance Party with the Rocketeers! We're a Square Dance Club that's ...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/24/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/24/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    09/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Sep. 22-24, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/25/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/25/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/25/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/26/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/26/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/27/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/27/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/28/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/28/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • R.C.I.A.

    09/28/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Instruction Classes

    09/28/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/29/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/29/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/29/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • HCS Fall Festival

    09/29/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00AM

    Hilltop Christian School's annual Fall Festival is a great time for the whole family. Pony rides,...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    09/30/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Community Square Dance

    09/30/2017
    07:00PM — 08:30PM

    Join us for a Community Square Dance Party with the Rocketeers! We're a Square Dance Club that's ...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/01/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    10/01/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/02/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/02/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/03/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/04/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/04/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/05/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • R.C.I.A.

    10/05/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Instruction Classes

    10/05/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/06/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/06/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Art for the Arts

    10/06/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00PM

    Support Granite School District art programs AND save up to 50% off framed, limited edition art. ...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/07/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Boo Fest

    10/07/2017
    09:00AM — 11:30AM

    Element Dance Pancake Breakfast Fundraiser - Come enjoy a yummy breakfast with lots of entertainm...


  • Free Anti-Bullying Class

    10/07/2017
    10:00AM — 11:00AM

    Gracie Barra Sandy hosts a free self defense class once a month on the first Saturday of every mo...


  • Harvest Festival

    10/07/2017
    11:00AM — 02:00PM

    The Draper Crossing and Draper Peaks Shopping Centers are hosting a free Harvest Festival in the ...


  • Community Square Dance

    10/07/2017
    07:00PM — 08:30PM

    Join us for a Community Square Dance Party with the Rocketeers! We're a Square Dance Club that's ...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/08/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    10/08/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/09/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/09/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/10/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/11/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/11/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/12/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • R.C.I.A.

    10/12/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Instruction Classes

    10/12/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/13/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/13/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/14/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • Ascend Yoga Studio is Now Open!

    10/15/2017
    06:00AM

    Ascend is a brand new studio located on 726 E and 12200 S ste. F in Draper! We do heated as w...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    10/15/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


 

Online Edition
Follow My City Journals on Facebook
Advertise with us

 

City Journals 9500 South 500 West, Suite 205, Sandy, Utah 84070 801.254.5974